Cherry Pie: Valentine’s Day
As Valentine's Day fast approaches, we cannot all help but be distracted by the hearts, balloons and flowers filling up our neighborhood grocers and markets. For some, this holiday will be filled with new love; while others are trying to forget. Some of us may be cynical about the V-Day holiday, while others may tap into their 'romantic at heart' selves. However, you choose to experience Valentines Day, it is important to remember what relationships are, what they mean and how to hold them in the highest of consciousness. Many of us had a roller coaster of experiences with matters of the heart. There were incredible soul connections made and lost in the same breath. Some of you finally found 'the one' and some of us are still discovering what we want in a partner.
I can share, that in this last year, I learned how important it is to be present with those we connect with. To 'relate'. To stop 'projecting' what we think will happen or what we think the other person feels and instead; to listen, to feel, to be conscious in the connection. Many times we can get 'caught up' in what we desire...lust, sex, wanting...instead of learning to Trust, building an understanding, and connecting on a deeper level. If we truly listen to each other and hold each other in a realistic light; we will find out who that person really is and what their connection really means. Ultimately, each person we connect with is a mirror reflection of who we are. For those that we are attracted to: They are showing us our own beauty. For those that we find an intellectual connection: They are showing us our own intelligence. For those that we share a spiritual connection: They are showing us a new layer of ourselves.
Each relationship and connection that I experienced in the past has brought me to who I am today. Each man removed another layer of past belief systems and patterns of behavior that no longer served me. No matter how difficult or how easy, how light or how dark; I learned more about myself from the beautiful mirrors presented then I could have alone.
I was told by Spirit; "Each relationship, each soul mate, is brought to an individual to serve their growth. Sometimes it can serve your growth more to be apart then together. Sometimes learning comes from having an experience last. No matter what the outcome, you were brought together to be changed."
Whatever your relationships are in your life at this time; take the time to have gratitude for who has been brought into your field and for the many lessons you are learning from it.
I look forward to what this year has for me in the world of relating. My lesson, as could be the lesson for all of us; is to learn how to appreciate each connection brought to us and to release it without regret or sadness when it is complete. To love without attachment and without expectation. To embody unconditional love. Osho speaks to this in the most beautiful of ways:
"First meditate, be blissful, then much love will happen of its own accord. Then being with others is beautiful and being alone is also beautiful. Then it is simple, too. You don't depend on others and you don't make others dependent on you. Then it is always a friendship, a friendliness. It never becomes a relationship, it is always a relatedness. You relate, but you don't create a marriage. Marriage is out of fear, relatedness is out of love. You relate; as long as things are moving beautifully, you share. And if you see that the moment has come to depart because your paths separate at this crossroad, you say goodbye with great gratitude for all that the other has been to you, for all the joys and all the pleasures and all the beautiful moments that you have shared with the other. With no misery, with no pain, you simply separate."
It sounds so easy doesn’t it? To connect, to love and then to simply separate. As we all know it is not. After entering a relationship it is most often difficult to end it and sever the connection. I am finding, as I too am still learning about relationships, that by entering the relationship from the space of the heart - through unconditional love, with no expectations and demands - that it can be simple. It can be light. It can be loving without the sense of neediness or attachment. I hope by sharing my thoughts on love; how to clear away our illusions and how to become more patient and compassionate - how to embody unconditional love - that it will ease your relationship space. And perhaps even bring to you the one thing you want - True love and life partnership.
Like the gooey filling in a cherry pie; love can be sticky. It is filled with ‘pops’ of tangy bubbles and empty spaces with only the sweet thickness of romantic thoughts. It can linger; stuck to the kitchen counter as a reminder that it is gone but not forgotten. It can remain until mold grows on the inner skin and it must be thrown out; as love too can spoil. It can be washed away or given as a gift. The essence of love is the color of a perfect cherry and as soft as the petals on a red rose. And like pie, it can fill you with warmth as you eat it and with regret when it is gone…
